Täna täpselt aasta tagasi tulin ma Islandile, et hakata au pairiks.
Ma olin noor, roheline, tahtejõudu ja energiat täis ning teadsin, mida ma tahan.
Aasta jooksul aga olen kõik selle, mida alguses arvasin teadvat kahtluse alla seadnud ja hakanud mõtlema, kas see on ikka see, mida ma tõeliselt tahan.
Paljudest asjadest olen loobunud ning saanud teada, et saan ka ilma nendeta elada, jõudes iseendale lähemale kui kunagi varem.
Ma olen kohanud nii palju inimesi, kes on mind mõjutanud, aidanud, lohutanud. Olen mõistma hakanud tõeliste sõprade toetuse suurust ning isegi kui igapäevaselt ei räägi on nendest rasketel hetkedel tõesti äärmiselt palju abi.
Tunnen et olen saanud pisut täiskasvanumaks ning enda vanusest vanemaks (if that makes sense). Sest kuigi mu vanus on 22 passis olen ma tegelikkusest umbes 6 aastat vähemalt vanem.
Ma olen kindel et mitte kõik ei suudaks sellist vastutust võtta, mis mulle osaks sai esimesel poolaastal.
Olen saanud enda ema aidata (Lõpuks! Olen seda nii kaua oodanud, et saaksin talle nõu anda ja olla mingis valdkonnas temast targem ja kogenum. ) Leidsin talle siin töö, aitasin ta siia ja mul on imeline kuulda, kui väga talle siin meeldib olla ja kui õnnelik ta on.
Saan tema tööandjaga väga hästi läbi (boonusena saan temaga ka islandi keelt rääkida) ja kui ta kuulis mida mu ema on aastaid teinud Eestis, kaasa-arvatud enda ema ja ämma-äia majapidamise ja aia eest hoolitsemine, siis ta ütles, et ta on äärmiselt õnnelik, et nad temasuguse töötaja enda juurde on saanud ning et mu ema on võrreldes selle ajaga hakanud enda eest pisut rohkem seisma ning tundub et ta naudib end rohkem.
Äärmiselt rõõmustav oli ka kuulda Stenilt, et mu ema paistab justkui ta oleks puhkuselt tulnud, et ta on nii puhanud.
Mu meelest üks suuremaid saavutusi sellel aastal on olnud see, et oleme emaga hakanud paremini läbi saama ning olen teda samm sammu haaval usaldama hakanud. Võib-olla on see, et me ei puutu tihti kokku ja kui näeme, siis ainult natukeseks ajaks ja kes ikka tahaks tülitseda?
Mulle on selle aasta jooksul antud ka võimalusi, mida väga tihti elus ei tule: teiste laste kasvatamine ja vanematele nõu andmine, mitte et see oleks minu ülesanne olnud, aga kui minu kui noore inimese nõu kuulda võetakse, siis loomulikult muudab see mu õnnelikuks, seda enam et mul endal ei ole lapsi ega kogemusi selles vallas.
Olen õppinud ka multitasking'ut. Ehk samal ajal kui ma midagi teen hoian silmad-kõrvad lahti et laste tegemistega kursis olla.
PILDID EELMISE AASTAGA VÕRRELDES. KAS MA OLEN MUUTUNUD?/
The pictures compared to last year. Have I changed any bit?
Teel Anna Björki ja tema viie lapse juurde. 28.JUUNI.2013/ The picture is taken on the way to Anna Björk´s and her five kids´ home. 28. june.2013
Esimene päev uues peres. Mäletan, et olin nii hirmul et kuidas ma selle kõigega hakkama saan ja väsinud samuti, sest nii palju müra oli. /The first day in the new family. I remember that I was in fear how am I going to manage it all, I was very tired, beacause there were so much noise.
AASTA HILJEM 28.JUUNI.2014/ A YEAR LATER IN 28.JUNE 2014
Pärast Secret Solstice festivali /After Secret Solstice festival
Aasta tagasi olin ma rikas, aga aasta hiljem olen veelgi rikkam, sest mu südamesse on pugenud nii palju armsaid inimesi. :)
AITÄH SELLE AASTA EEST!
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You know what???
Today exactly a year ago I came to Iceland in order to be an au pair.
I was young, green, full of stamina and energy and I knew what I wanted from life.
Within the year I have doubted about everything that I thought I knew for sure and wondered if it really was what I really wanted or not.
I have given up on some of them and I have realised that I can live without them and by doing this I have got closer to becoming myself again than I have ever been.
I have met so many interesting people who have affected, helped, comforted me. I have started to realise how much is worth the support from friends and even though we don´t talk on daily basis it is a huge support what comes to hard times.
I feel that within this year I have grown up even more and older from my age (if that makes sense). Even though my age in my birth certificate is 22 I am 6 or more years older than me.
I am sure that most of the people my age are not able to take the responsibility that I had to in the first part of the year.
I have finally had the chance to help my mother (Finally! I have been waiting for this moment to come that I could advise her in some fields where I am knowledgeable and more experienced than her.)
I found her the job, helped her here and it is making me happy to hear that she likes to be here very much and she is happy.
I get along with her employer (female) plus the bonus is that we talk Icelandic with her and when she heard (not from me) what my mother has been doing for years in Estonia, included her mothers´and her in-laws´ houses and garden, then she said that she is extremely happy to have her working for them there in Vogafjós because she has started to take care of herself more and it feels like she enjoys herself more as well
Extremely lovely is to hear from Sten that my mom looks like she has been on a vacation, that she seems so fresh.
I think one of the best achievements from this year is we have started getting along with my mother more and I have started trusting her step-by-step. There is a long way ahead, but the beginning is done.
Maybe this is because we don´t see each other so often and if we see then just for a little whike and who would want to fight anyway?
I have given so many opportunities this year that don´t happen so often in life. For example raising up other people´s kids and advising the parents. Not that it has been my task, but if they take my advice and things what I say and try to practise it then of course it makes me happy, especially since that I don´t have kids on my own.
In addition I have learned how to multitask. Which means, that meanwhile I am doing something I keep my eyes-ears open what the kids are doing or where they are.
And to the moon and back I am grateful of the Icelandic skill, the ability to speak and learn Icelandic language.
A YEAR AGO I WAS RICH BUT NOW, A YEAR LATER, EVEN RICHER, BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD PEOPLE WHO HAVE FOUND THEIR WAY INTO MY HEART.
thank you all for this amazing year.
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