Milline õnn on olla oma aja ning oma elu peremees.
Kas te pole vahel tundunu, et keegi teine kontrollib teie elu ning teeb teie eest samme ette ära.
Varem tundsin ka mina seda, nüüd aga pärast sellist tormilist aastat ei löö ma risti ette enam mitte millelegi. Olen juba kaks tööpakkumist saanud, millesse otsustasin kandideerida. Eile oli tööintervjuu, mis mu meelest läks äärmiselt hästi, kuid see pole tavalist laadi töö, ehk siis 8-17.00 kind of töö
Mul on hea meel, et jätkuvalt on mind selja taga toetamas mu head sõbrad Islandilt ning ka Eestist. Kõik, kes on mulle kogu aeg toeks olnud.
Sest fakt on see, et isegi kõige tugevamad isiksused vajavad aeg-ajalt tugevat ning innustavat toetust.
Mulle hakkab üha enam tunduma, et ma olen selline mõnes mõttes selline rutiini inimene, sest ma saan kõik oma asjad ilusti tehtud ning lausa väga hästi tehtud, kui mul on palju planeeritud ning ma tean ette mida ma tegema hakkan päeval.
Ainus häda on, et päevad lähevad liiga kiiresti õhtusse.
Olen avastanud, et päeval peab mul olema palju asju planeeritud, siis mul ei jää aega, et lihtsalt istuda raamatu taga ning uneleda. Minu õppimisaeg algab peamiselt siis kui teised hakkavad magama sättima.
Seetõttu võtan tavaliselt pärast kolmetunnist õhtust loengut, mis lõpeb kell 8 endale natuke vaba aega ning siis jätkan aktiivselt projektide ning koolitööde või kirjanduse kallal töötamist enamasti kuni kella 11ni õhtul. Nii hea tunne on olla üksi ülikoolis kui on vaikne ning aju on sellisel tasemel, et päevane ärevus on kusagil aju tagaosas ning peamine on keskendumine.
Olen kindel et teen sama töö ära kaks korda kiiremini hilisõhtuti kui hommikupoole.
Samuti kasutan aktiivselt suure stressi ning pinge puhul lõdvestumise ning meditatsioonitehnikat, mille käigus kujutlen ette et istun maas ning hakkan enda muresid, mõtteid ning ideid mis tekivad enda küljest ära võtma ning asetama kas maha või riiulitele või mujale, osa mõtteid kujutlen ette isegi, et sulgen nad kaanega purki ja panen riiulitele. Ning kui ma olen enda arvates juba paljud asjad ära võtnud endalt oma kujutluses, siis proovin mõttes hüpata ning kui mul on seda raske teha, siis see tähendab, et mul on endiselt midagi veel südamel, mis muudab raskeks.
Vahel jätan kõik need raamatud ja mured mida ette kujutasin ühte väiksesse ruumi ning sulgen ukse ja lähen minema.
Samas ma tean, et need ideed ja mured ei kao kuhugile, et kui vaja, siis lähen võtan nad ruumist jälle välja, samas aga annab see nii palju vabadust ning nö aju kõvakettal lisaruumi, sest kohati on võimalik mõtteid lihtsalt edasi-tagasi kedrata ise aru saamata et see väsitab.
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What a great pleasure is to be the master of your own time and life.
Haven't ya'll felt sometimes like someone else is controlling your life and making decisions instead of you? I used to feel this way but now, after this crazy stormy and rocky year I am not afraid of anything. I have got two job offers that I decided to give them a try and so far so good. Had a job interview yesterday. In my mind went very well. But it is not the regular kind of job from 8-5. no no
I am so grateful and happy that i still have very good friends from Iceland and from Estonia supporting me and standing behind my back, because sometimes even very strong caracters need great support and inspiration from good friends.
I know that i can always rely on you :) I hope you know who you are ;)
In a way it makes me feel that i am the kind of routine-life person who gets all her things done when i have a lot in my schedule and i know what I will be doing during the day.
The only problem is that the days go by so fast that sometimes i don't quite notice when the whole day has come to an end. :)
I have also noticed that when i have been planned my days full of activities i don't have time to just sit and sort of daydream while reading a book. My quality studying time starts when other people being to go to bed.
This is why i usually go to the night study hall after a three-hour lecture at 8 in the evening and study until they close at 23.
This is the time of the day when i feel that my concentration in in its highest point.
It is such a good feeling to be almost the only one at University when it is all quiet and peaceful, the anxiety that was surrounding me during the day has left to the back part of my brain and the concentration has appeared to the front part of my brain.
I am sure i manage to work twice as much during the late hours of the day than during the day.
I as well use very much relaxation and meditation tactics on those stressful days.
I imagine myself sitting on the floor or on the ground and I start taking my worries, ideas and anxiety that is on my mind off of me by putting them aside me and on the shelves, sometimes even closing them to jars.
As soon as i have imagined myself being free from those thoughts i try to jump in the air and if i couldn't jump that means i still have quite a lot in my mind or on top of my heart that makes it heavy.
Sometimes I imagine that i leave all those things into a tiny room and close the door and go away.
Then again by closing the door i know they won't disappear and if i want to i will go again into the room (in my mind) and pick them up again. But this as well gives a lot of free space in the brain so called hard drive. A bit of free space to use it more reasonably. Because sometimes you don't even realise that by repeating some thoughts in your mind over and over again makes the brain and memory tired.
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